Observations

I am not sure how much you can tell about a person who is only about two months old, but here are my predictions.

I think Chiara is a morning person. When she wakes up in the morning, she is in the best mood ever. All smiles, stretches, gooing, and gaaing.

I predict she will be stubborn. She has a very stiff neck muscle. We do things that force her to stretch this muscle, which she does not like. One technique is tummy time. She's not going to have any of that nonsense! At 6 weeks, she learned how to flip over to her back.

Also, I think she will need more than the average amount of sleep. This girl is a sleeper. She sleeps, and sleeps, and sleeps.

Sleep Tight

None of the following photos have been posed. This is exactly how we have found him while he was sleeping.

He really likes his Spiderman shoes.

Being a fireman is tiring work.

I Need to Go to the Swimming Pool!

This morning at 5:30am, Marco woke up yelling "I need to go to the swimming pool!" He yelled this about 5 times before coming into our room and telling me directly to my face. I picked him up and put him in our bed and he just kept saying it. And then he said something about going in the water and where all the other kids were and needing to go to school. Part of me was marveling at the remarkable completeness of the sentence. And another part of me was wondering what kind of dreams is this kid having? Sounds like fun!

He eventually settled down and went back to sleep, but it really makes me wonder how much he understands what dreams are versus reality and how you explain that to a kid at 5:30am.

A Poor Negotiator

On Friday, I was talking to my friend Krista and was lamenting about our sleep problems and she told me about an article she read that had many sleep training techniques in it. One of them suggested telling the child you would be back in x number of minutes and then leaving the room. I tried this Friday night and it worked great. He did not cry and I did not feel locked in his room. He is still going to sleep too late, but at least we have some progress and he's not waking up too early.

Last night, I used this technique again. At one point, I told him he had to turn off the light (he had been reading) and I sat with him a couple minutes until he adjusted and then I said I would be back in two minutes. He responded "No, come back in four minutes." I said "Ok, you got it, 4 minutes." He eventually fell asleep. I have found I don't even have to come back very often, but maybe every 15 minutes or so. I think he likes that his door isn't shut and really doesn't care if I come back. He can hear us moving around the house and if he really wanted to, he could leave his room and find us.

Anyway, he woke up around 5am (yay, no 1am wake up call!) and he yelled "Chip and Dale!" Alessandro and I just kind of looked at each other. After about 10 minutes he came to our room and handed me a Mickey Mouse doll, a Wild Thing from "Where the Wild Things Are" and a cup of water. Then he left our room. Again, Alessandro and I were puzzled. He went back to his room, shut the door. Came to our room, shut the door and then was ready to get in our bed. He asked for Mickey Mouse, his Wild Thing and his green water (the color of his cup) and then went back to bed and didn't wake up until after 7am.

(Apparently he has a name, Moshe... although, you wouldn't know it from the book!)

Sleep Deprived

Before we left for Italy, Marco and I had a bedtime routine. We would read stories, I would lay with him for a few minutes and then say Good Night and walk out of the room. There were no tears, no screaming, no pleading. It was great. Well, something happened.

In Italy, Marco slept in a bed with us and when we returned, we tried to transition him back to his old routine, but we are still struggling. At first, we humored Marco and would lay with him until he fell asleep. We did this primarily because as soon as we got back, he was also starting preschool and I was afraid of abandoning him too much. After about a week though, we started going back to the night routine.

The problem is Marco has not gotten back into the night routine. He cries, pleads, screams. It is terrible. It has been more than two months now and he still cries when we put him to bed and sometimes for a long time. I have done lots of reading on sleep training. The crying it out method really worked for us when Marco was about a year old. It didn't take long before we settled into a routine. But then Marco learned to climb out of the crib. More crying it out, falling asleep in front of the door as he learned to sleep in a bed. Then Marco learned to open his door. He was so proud, you have no idea. More sleep training once we got a Marco proof door knob cover. It does seem like we are constantly going back and forth with a routine and then a break in the routine and then crying and then back to routine. And this is only the going to bed part, not the waking during the night or too early in the morning part.

Every time Marco broke his routine, it didn't take long to get back to a regular routine. Maybe three weeks maximum (but I could be delirious and am totally making up that number). This time though, it has been more than two months and we are still having issues. So, we are trying something new.

One of the things I have read is that you can sleep train without all the crying by staying with them, but progressively moving further and further away. Two nights ago, Marco cried off and on for an hour (from 7:30 - 8:30). And when I say cried, I mean screaming, head at the bottom of the door crying Mommy, Daddy, Heidi, Please. Anything to try to get attention. Also, sobbing in his bed. It is intermittent, but still greatly disturbing. Anyway, after an hour of this, I went in to comfort him and left. That didn't work. I decided I would sit with him, but not lay with him. So, I took a chair and a magazine and went in. First, I will say as soon as I opened the door, he started laughing. "I won. I won." (That is how I interpreted the laugh, but truly I think he was just so happy that I was there.) I told him I wouldn't lie down on the bed, but I was going to sit in the chair next to the bed. He was ok with this. Within thirty minutes he fell asleep. I watched him desperately fight sleep. Eyes fluttering shut, only to pop back open moments later, until at last his cup of water dropped from his hand and he was out.

Last night as we were reading books I explained to him that Mommy was going to stay in his room while he fell asleep, but I was going to sit in the chair. He got a little weepy, but quickly seemed to understand. He tried to talk to me a little. I told him I would leave if he didn't lay down and go to sleep. His reply, "Mommy, sit in chair." After sitting there an hour, I switched places with Alessandro. Again, he was a little weepy, but accepted the switch. By 9pm he finally fell asleep.

The problem with this new approach so far is that he still hasn't fallen asleep before 9pm, even though he is yawning at 7:30. My hope is that soon he will be comfortable enough with the situation that he will go to sleep earlier.

The next stage that we are suppose to do is start moving the chair closer to the door, eventually in the doorway, then outside of the doorway, etc. Admittedly, this technique does take longer than cry it out, but cry it out doesn't seem to be working for us right now.

Now, let's move on to the second sleep problem we are having. Ever since Marco has slept in a bed, at some point he wakes up and comes to our room. The problem lately is it is becoming earlier and earlier, around 10:30-12:30 at night as opposed to around 5-5:30 in the morning. And he is becoming more demanding. He wants water or something. Then also, he is waking up around 6-6:30 and trying to get breakfast. I refuse until after 7am, but this past week he isn't falling back asleep.

All in all, he is not getting enough sleep. I think the late nights are producing the early mornings (there is some thing about staying up too late producing adrenalin and this makes them wake up earlier). When he would come to our bed around 5, he would fall back asleep usually until 7:30 or 8, thus getting approximately 12 hours of sleep. Lately, I would estimate he is getting closer to 9 hours of sleep a night. Not only is he not getting enough sleep, but neither are we!

I am tired and grumpy. I am sick of having a little monkey pushing me off my pillow or sleeping on my neck. I am tired of 6am wake-up calls of "peanut-butter" and him pulling the blankets off me. I am frustrated with the grouch who wakes up at 6 instead of the cheerful little guy who opens his eyes at 7:30. And most of all, after two plus years, I am tired of sleep training. It is a never ending process!

As an aside, Mom & Jim, I am apologizing now for the two nights you will have to deal with him when we are sleeping peacefully in our luxurious hotel room.

C'mere Mommy, C'mere

Once again it is time to jot down a few things Marco is doing and include a few random pictures. First of all, he is much better about sleeping in his bed. At night, we read stories, I tuck him in, lay with him for a few minutes and then say good night and leave the room. Occasionally he will bang on the door, but for the most part he just goes to sleep. Naps are still not easy. He either destroys his room during nap time (more on this later) or I have to lay with him until he falls asleep. The car always works, but I am not going to do that on a regular basis.

I will tell the nap story now since I am on the subject. Last week I stuck him in his room for a nap. He wouldn't lay down, so I left. Usually at some point he starts calling for me and I go back and see if I can get him to sleep. Otherwise, he gets quiet time in his room for approximately two hours. This particular day he didn't call for me for the full two hours. I just let him be. Now for some back story, the previous weekend, Alessandro had switched out the night stand in Marco's room for the one he had been using. The new one in Marco's room was significantly shorter than the old one. The nightstand is next to Marco's dresser. Anyway, around four o'clock, Marco calls for me, so I go to let him out of his room. The chaos of what was inside is almost indescribable. Neither Alessandro or I had thought, hey, he might be able to climb on top of this nightstand and then climb on top of his dresser! Marco on the other hand, had thought of this. There is a top drawer on the dresser that previously had been unreachable to Marco. This is where we keep things like the thermometer, finger nail clippers, finger nail scissors, diaper rash cream, lotions, some little garbage bags to toss in the diaper bag, all kinds of things we DON'T want Marco to have. Also, on top of the dresser is a lamp, a piggy bank, and a heater. What I saw in his room when I let him out included the piggy bank on the floor (with a dime sized hole broken in the top), the thermometer and some other items in his bed, the finger nail clippers in a little bag under the dresser, the lamp shade was broken off the lamp, all the baggies were unraveled (they are connected together in a roll), diaper wipes were pulled out of the container and all over the floor,but I save the best for last. He had broken the lid off of a jar of diaper cream, used a finger nail file to scoop it up and who knows what he did with it at that point, but he did smell a little weird. I hope he didn't eat it, but at least it was the kind that was made out of olive oil. No wonder he was so quiet that afternoon! We have since rectified the situation and hopefully it won't happen again. (I have this image of him sitting on top of his dresser, I am just glad I didn't actually see it!)

He is learning new words daily it seems. His brain truly is a sponge. The other day he was telling me something was an iguana and I didn't understand because I didn't fathom that word in his vocabulary, but sure enough it was an iguana. He knows sign language for colors and is starting to sign letters of the alphabet. He sings sometimes, but seems to get embarrassed if you point it out.

He has figured out that in the morning I wear my slippers, so if he is trying to get me out of bed he gives me my slippers. One Friday morning he woke up when Alessandro was getting ready for work. I tried to get him to sleep more with me by laying down with him in his room. He got up, left the room, shut the door. A minute later he came back with my slippers.

Last week, I put on my jacket to go to work and he started to cry. He took my hand and took me to his room. Alessandro came with us. Marco opened the door, pushed Alessandro out and then closed the door.

Current favorite books are "What a Mess Little Puppies" and "Where's Chip?", both Disney books. He also likes "Where's Maisy?" The common thread in all the books is you have to find something on each page.

Marco can be very selfish with foods he likes. For example, today he had some popcorn and he refused to give me any. (So I had some oreos and didn't let him know it!) He will start crying if you take a bite of his food and try to take it out of your mouth.

He remembers people and places. About a week ago I was taking care of Laura and Jeff's cats. One morning I had to take Marco with me. I asked him if he wanted to see a dog and mentioned Sunny by name. He said "Jeff." I had to explain that Laura and Jeff weren't home. He still walked in and said "Hi" looking around for them. Yesterday evening we dropped by to say hi and he was so excited to see them. He kept saying Sunny and Jeff (won't say Laura). At one point he said "I'll be right back" and climbed up the stairs where he kept calling Sunny. When we were leaving he yelled "Bye Bye Jeff" over and over. He did throw in one "Bye Bye Laura."

He drags people around by the finger and tells people c'mere all the time (I am very sick of the phrase c'mere). Mommy c'mere, c'mere mommy, c'mere, c'mere mommy. Over and over. If I don't come he pulls me by my finger until I am where he wants me, which is often sitting with him coloring. He now actually tells me to draw kitties (perhaps because it is one of the few recognizable things I can draw.)

Oh, I almost forgot, he now includes one when he counts.

In other big news, he is going to start preschool in April. As soon as we get back from Italy and he is two, he will start. I can't wait. Alessandro and I will both go back to normal work schedules and then we can have dinner together again and lead a semi-normal life once again.

The Sleep Chronicles

For those of you keeping score, last night I was in Marco's room trying to put him to bed for over an hour. I finally got fed up and left and then he cried for a minute, banged on the door, then got back in bed and fell asleep in less than 5 minutes! I knew he was tired, so I guess it was a good thing I left. One reason I knew he was super tired (besides it being 9pm) was because Piper was on the bed at some point and he tried to pet her and she jumped down. He cried and cried like I had left the room, inconsolable. Marco woke up around 11pm and came to our room asking for water. I gave him some water and then Alessandro took him back to bed, where he slept until 7:50am!!!! Things are looking up :-)

A Strange Night

Last night was full of firsts. Marco went to bed around 7:30. It went well, but he fell asleep holding a book. Then he woke up around 11:15. I went in and he asked for water and then to eat. I caved on the water, which he proceeded to spill all over himself and some on the bed. I changed his pjs, but all the commotion caused him to be a little more awake than normal, so it took him a while to fall back to sleep. (Not to mention Piper roaming around the room meowing and rustling the blinds.) I fell asleep in his room, waking up around 1:30. Around 4:45 I hear him wake up, kind of whining. He got up, shut his door and then went back to bed. Alessandro checked and he had fallen back asleep. Then at 7 he woke up crying in his bed, but not actually getting up. Alessandro went and brought him to our room, but he was upset and still half asleep. He did fall back asleep with us for a bit though. All in all, a strange night.

Conflicting Desires

Last night Marco slept in his bed until 5am. Now, in theory I want Marco to sleep in his bed all night. This is my dream. But there is another side of me that misses him snuggling with me.

Last night I went and saw The Business of Being Born with Jen. (Great movie, I highly recommend it.) In any case, Marco had a babysitter and she put him to bed. So, he was sleeping when I got home. Lately he has been waking up approximately every two hours. Either we put him back to bed or we are already in bed and he comes in our room and joins us. Last night I woke up at 3am... no Marco. Seriously, I panicked. I had to go check on him. He was fine of course. I couldn't get back to sleep for more than an hour. I considered going and getting him, but thought that was ridiculous. I finally fell back asleep and he got up around 5am and came and slept with us for a couple of more hours.

Eventually, I am sure we will both get use to sleeping in our own beds all night without each other.

Severing the Ties

Well, it is official. Marco is no longer breastfeeding. This was not a voluntary act on his part. It has now been a week and I will fill you in on the details. The World Health Organization says you should breastfeed for two years, so I feel a tiny bit guilty about cutting him off already, but it really is only a tiny bit.

Prior to Marco being able to climb out of his crib, he basically nursed three times a day. When he woke up, before nap and before bed. After he was able to climb out of his crib and started sleeping in a bed, he would come to our room around 3am and want to nurse. And then again around 5am and again at 7am. Well, I found this rather annoying, so decided to cut out the morning nursing all together. This didn't go over well at first, but after a few days he accepted it.

Now fast forward about a month, naps are not going well. He basically would only nap if he nursed to sleep and it was almost impossible to detach myself. If I did it too early, he would wake up screaming and rarely would go back to sleep. I was almost stuck there the whole nap. This was not working for me. Oh, the other thing is as soon as I got home from work, he would claim he would want to go to bed, but he really just wanted to nurse. Sometimes he would not sleep at all, he would nurse, then get up to play, then want to nurse and go to sleep a half hour later. Night was fine, he would nurse for a few minutes and then lay down and go to sleep. The other thing he started doing is shoving his hand down my shirt. Even though he knows he only got to nurse before nap and bedtime, he still would ask to nurse all the time. This kid would nurse every ten minutes if he was allowed.

Anyway, last Tuesday he did one of his nurse for a bit, then get up and play deals, so I decided then and there, this is it! That night I didn't nurse him and it wasn't that bad. I think this is because for a while we weren't nursing before bed and it has been a very long time since he has nursed to sleep at night. Wednesday last week, Alessandro took him to the park and he fell asleep in the car on the way home, so no real fireworks there. Wednesday night was a little more difficult. This was the first time ever Marco didn't get to nurse for an entire day. The real test came on Thursday nap time. I think this is when he realized this is for real. He screamed for 30 straight minutes. He was so angry at me. I was laying in his bed with him and he was pulling at my face, pushing me, tearing at my shirt, but he never did leave the bed. At some point Alessandro came in and Marco reached for him and let him comfort him for a bit. I think he was saying something like "Save me from this awful woman." After 30 minutes of crying, he finally stopped and fell asleep 5 minutes later. That to me is called success!

As I said, now it has been a week. Today he was angry at his nap again, cried and tantrumed in bed for a good 30 minutes and finally fell asleep. He only slept for 30 minutes (grrrr) and woke up a total pain in the ass. Tonight he was totally fine with going to bed, but it took forever! I was in there with him for more than an hour. He keeps his eyes open and his hand on my shoulder. I think he is just wary that I am going to try to escape the second he closes his eyes (which is true!).

The other thing I have been doing is trying to get him to have a security item. Heather gave him a Blue's Clues puppy for Christmas and I have been getting him attached to this. Every time before we go to sleep, I say I need to sleep with Blue or ask where is Blue and he gets her. Tonight I asked him if he wanted to hold Blue and he said ok, and he is still holding her. I want something other than me that will provide him some comfort!

Anyway, the naps are still not going well, but eventually I am sure he will nap without screaming at me.

One other thing I wanted to mention is that I owe a huge thank you to Lisa (Jordan's mom). Marco hates brushing his teeth. I literally have to sit on him and force his mouth open. His pediatrician suggested that I be firm and that eventually he would understand that this is happening with or with out his cooperation, so he would eventually cooperate. Well, it has been 3 months of being firm and he is not cooperating. Lisa told me to try an electric toothbrush. It is like magic. He now actually seems to enjoy brushing his teeth!

Nap Time

As many of you are aware, sleep is not one of Marco's best subjects. He is in particular failing at naps. Especially since the crib has been abolished for an easy to climb in and out of bed.

Here is what it looked like outside his room during a recent nap.

And here is the inside...

A Clue!

Marco is currently obsessed with Blue's Clues. For those of you not in the know, Blue is a puppy who leaves clues so you can figure out what she wants to do. Every episode she leaves three clues marked by her paw print. Marco now thinks all paw prints are clues. If we are reading a book and there is a paw print he yells "A Clue!" Today we were at Borders and Marco saw a stuffed animal that had paw prints on its feet and Marco yelled "A Clue!" He gets very excited about paw prints. Well, he actually gets very excited about almost everything. We were at the mall today and he saw a Ben & Jerry's. They have huge cows painted on the walls. He ran in screaming "A Cow!" We spent at least 5 minutes there. I figure we gave the clerk some entertainment since not a lot of people are out buying ice cream today. He actually gave Marco a cookie (which Marco refused to take... Good Marco, no cookies from strangers!) We were walking in the parking lot and he saw an E and screamed "E!". We had to stop every 2 seconds to point at the numbers that marked the parking spaces and don't even get me started on license plates. The bookstore was very exciting because there were just so many letters to point out. By now, he can count to ten if you ignore one and four. He knows most if not all of the letters of the alphabet. And another random note, he calls all drinks water.

In other news, the crib is history. The last three nights, he has fallen asleep on the floor in front of the door. Tonight, I didn't even bother attempting to put him in the crib. I laid with him in his "big boy bed" for about 10 or 15 minutes and since he wasn't really showing signs of falling asleep, I left. He didn't cry as much tonight and fell asleep pretty quick (an inch away from the door). Last night he woke up around 9:30 and I put him in his bed and he fell asleep within 5 minutes. I'm not sure when he woke up again (certainly after midnight, so that is progress on the every 2 hour thing!), but at some point I realized he was in our bed. (Alessandro said Marco woke up and he brought him.)

Approximately 2 Hours Later [Due Ore Dopo]

Round 1: Marco

Sleep Wars [La Guerra del Sonno]

Papillon

Marco has finally mastered his escape. This week we have been trying to get him to take naps in his crib (night is fine, naps are another story). This has resulted in approximately an hour of crying a day and no napping. Well, yesterday Marco figured out he can just climb right out. Once he figured this out, it takes him about 2 seconds to actually get out. This morning at 4:30, he woke up and decided not to wait to see if dad would come and get him. It may be time to bring in reinforcements!
Marco e' finalmente riuscito ad evadere. Questa settimana abbiamo provato a mettere Marco nel suo lettino per il pisolino pomeridiano (pennica N.D.R.). Questo ha portato approssimativamente ad un ora di pianto al giorno senza dormire. Ieri Marco ha capito che poteva facilmente saltare fuori. Ed infatti ci ha messo circa 2 secondi a saltare fuori. Questa mattina alle 4:30, si e' svegliato ed a deciso di non aspettare papa' come al solito, e' venuto direttamente nella nostra camera da letto. Forse e' giunto il momento di chiedere rinforzi!

Practice, Practice, Practice [Allenamento, Allenamento, Allenamento]

Right before I go to bed, I open Marco's door (so it doesn't get too cold) and I put a blanket on him. Well, I just went to open his door and he isn't quite asleep (he has been waking up a lot because of his cough.) Anyway, this is what I heard "two, five... two, three."
Prima di andare a letto, apro la porta della camera di Marco ( cosi' la stanza non diventa troppo fredda durante la notte) e gli rimbocco la coperta. Bene, ho appena aperto la porta e lui non si e' ancora addormentato (siccome ha la tosse, ultimamente fatica un po' ad addormentarsi.) Comunque, questo e' quanto ho potuto ascoltare: "due, cinque... due, tre."